It is important to get to know yourself. Both, what makes you happy and also sad, so that you know if there is something wrong and the best next steps to fix it.
It’s easy to notice the good but you are taught to run from the bad or hard to feel emotions such as anger, sadness and anxiety. The detriment to running is that you will never know what’s making you sad and how to fix it.
Below are my 4 steps to help you understand your thoughts and feelings so that you can uncover what is wrong.
Step 1. Acknowledge there is something wrong
You have spent so long running from these issues that you may not even know what it is that is driving you to act and feel the way you do. You have always been told to keep going, push negative thoughts and feelings to one side and keep calm and carry on. You have been told if you do this it will magically disappear and you will feel happier. If you don’t there is something wrong with you, so many never admit that there is something wrong. However, if the problem has not resolved you will continue to feel these emotions and never overcome whatever it is that is holding you back.
Step 2. Connect to your emotions
Once you have found the issue, next is to connect to the emotions related to that thought, event or situation.
Be careful, as you have spent so long distancing yourself from it, the emotions connected to it might be a surprise.
A part of you may even try to protect you from seeing it by making up excuses or blaming others for the problem.
By doing this, however, you are allowing the problem to fester and impact on other areas of your life.
Remember, it’s not your fault, it’s just the way you have been learnt to deal with these difficult emotions.
Step 3. Notice Your thoughts
These thoughts can be anything from, ‘there is nothing wrong ’or ‘keep calm and carry on’,
Step 4. Express it
If you are finding it hard to connect with these thoughts, try writing them down. See the thoughts, emotions or problem as something outside of yourself. Something which you have control and mastery over and that you can banish if you wish.
The problem should not dictate how you live, you should dictate how much impact the problem has on you.
This is how you start to shine a light on your problems, helping you to see them and act on them. In doing so, Relieving pressure, anxiety or tension from your life.
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