Why Do You Lie?

lie

Why Do You Lie?

You may not even know why you lie , yet you still do. You like to make things sound unbelievable, make you sound richer, happier and essentially better than you are.

Why do people need to stretch the truth?

One of the main reasons is tension.

No one wants to feel responsible for hurting others.

 

When someone asks you to go out and you would rather stay in, you lie. You might say you are busy, already going out or have work to do when really, you’re just going to go home and put the TV on. What’s stopping you saying that you simply don’t want to go out?

What’s the harm in it?

In that moment, not so much. In the long term, however, how many lies do you need to keep up with? You have told a white lie to a friend, another to a work colleague, one to your parents and another to your partner, the list goes on.  Then, you have to remember what you have said to who and where you said you were.

The spinning of new lies and stories that you have to keep up with makes it difficult live in the moment.

You are continuously living with the fear of slipping up and getting found out. Always on your toes, hoping and praying that you can keep tabs on which story you have told and to whom.

How to stop lying

This is a method in which to recognise why it is you lie and to stop it being your default response to tension.

Try and figure out which situations specifically and to whom you lie to. Is it your friends? Your relatives at work? Where is it that you feel you have to lie.
To make this step easier think back to your last lie, who was it to and why did you lie?

Now you have an idea about who it is you lie to and why it is you lie, the next step is to notice mid-lie why you are doing it.
Maybe you won’t want to do something or have done something wrong. Usually, you would lie but this time, think to yourself ‘why do I feel the need to lie?’ What is it you are you running from? And why is that tension so unbearable?

The next step is the next time you are in a situation and you feel the need to lie. Don’t do it.  Once you realise why you lie you can start to see both the benefits and pitfalls of your lies. It might have helped you in the short term but in the long term, it’s weighing you down long after you have told that lie.

It’s keeping your mind agitated, thinking about how you are going to get out of the situation. In the end it is a short-term gain but does not allow you to be truly happy in the long term.

Lying has been your safety net for a long time. Rather than lying, try saying the truth; that you did make a mistake or that you don’t want to go out, whatever the scenario try and see how it feels.

 

Philip

Therapy in London

 

 

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