How often do you feel scared or anxious? And it is holding you back from doing what you want.
I want to show you how you can start to limit the impact of fear, tension and anxiety in your life.
Firstly, pick a situation that makes you feel scared or anxious; something that is unique to you and that you want to sort out.
Worst Case Scenario
Now you need to understand what that fear is. Think to yourself what is it about that situation that makes you scared?.
Let’s take public speaking as an example. You are in a hall with thousands of people and you have to give a speech. What could happen? You could make a mistake, forget your lines. How would you feel? What would happen? People start laughing at you. But then what? Now think about your scenario, what is your greatest fear and anxiety attached to that situation.
Best case Scenario
Now you have done that you are starting to change that emotion, fear and anxiety into thought. This allows you to imagine the situation and see the emotions as a part of you but not fully you.
In the same way you imagined the worst case scenario, you can use your imagination to imagine the best case example. Thinking back to the speech example, you could give the speech, remember your lines, answer some questions and you were given a resounding applause and congratulated for your good work.
Think again back to your own scenario. If all that bad stuff didn’t happen how good could it go?
The Origins Of Your Fear
Next is to understand the first time you felt that feeling of anxiety and fear.
All feelings, including fear, originate from the past. Emotions create an emotional blueprint of how to think act and feel.
In order to start to control how you feel in certain situations, you need to find the root cause.. With this knowledge, you can start to see why we feel the way we do and update that blueprint so that you don’t automatically feel and think the way we do. So try and think of your first memory of you feeling this way about the situation you are scared of.
Within sessions a lot of time is spent trying to understand the root cause of an emotion both good and bad. What this does is build an emotional story so that you can see the emotion rather than just feeling it, giving the emotion context whilst also giving yourself the power to listen to its message.
So, think about that situation that you are scared of. How are you feeling about it right now?
By bringing that feeling into your mind it gives you emotional space for you to look at and understand that feeling.
Run From Feelings
The way we would usually interact with a difficult emotion is to run from it. You might turn on the TV or read a book so that you don’t have to feel those hard to deal with feelings. It’s not just you doing this. Society teaches to run from hard to deal with feelings because you are expected to be happy all of the time.
By understand fear, new emotions start to emerge.
Sometimes it is easier to feel fear as it makes you run from the situations or those feelings underneath the fear which are even harder to deal with such as sadness, guilt and shame.
If those more difficult feelings are not dealt with then they continue to impact and control how you think act and feel without you even realising it.
I hope this blog has helped you understand why you feel scared and has shown you ways to deal with those feelings.
Your feelings are trying to show you what you need to do be less stressed and happier throughout your life. Try to learn to listen to them rather than running away from them.
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