How do you deal with frustration?
Frustration makes you feel limited and trapped, and that feeling stops you from seeing a way out.
The reason you feel this way is because you have never been taught to understand the message of your more negative emotions.
You are told not to feel sad and to take your mind away from the frustration; do something fun and just be happy!
Do you ever feel sorry for yourself?. You feel nothing is going your way, it always happens to you, you are the unluckiest person in the world.
So let’s get down to it why it is that you feel sorry for yourself.
I was recently writing a paper on how CBT has changed the theory and practice of integrative psychotherapy. What became instantly apparent was that CBT is a reaction to the society in which it is born out of, similarly to Psychoanalysis at the beginning of the 20th century.
Do you find that you compare yourself to others? Wishing you were more successful, richer or fitter, and stopping you from being truly happy.
Comparing yourself to others is something that we have all been genetically programmed to do in order to feel safe, secure and happier in general.
Self-discipline is something that isn’t easy to hold onto.
You tell yourself that you’ll do it later because you would rather be having fun right now; only to either forget to do it, rush doing it or not do it at all.
Why is it so hard just to do it there and then?
You have been told that you should put others needs before our own. You’re never thinking about what you want first. Is that right? Is that how life should be?
How often do you put others first? Sometimes, all the time, or every time?
This week I would like to discuss negative feelings and emotion.
When people find out I am a therapist I am asked ‘How do I get rid of these bad feelings?’ or ‘How do I distance myself from feeling upset, sad and anxious all the time?’
How often do you take risks in life? When I say risk I don’t mean doing something dangerous but rather, simply trying something new. Anything from trying a new flavour of ice cream to applying for a new job.
Society teaches you to stay safe and be comfortable with what you know. Doing something different would mean taking a risk which might not work out, making you feel sad and dejected. Yet by not taking a risk you stay in the same position and never move forward in your life.
Within society and life in general failure is seen as a weakness or as a negative mark on your character. You have been taught to run from failure all of your life. However, if you can start to see failure in a different way it will lead you a new way of life. A life which is not filled with dread and regret, but one filled with excitement about trying new things and will ultimately lead to success. A life without emotional boundaries to try new things.
So you wake up how do you feel? You go to work, meet up with friends but still feel rubbish. There is something you are not happy with and the only thing you can think of that there is something wrong with yourself. This could be your weight, your appearance or just to be happier in general.