I recently read an article in Cosmopolitan magazine about Youtuber Zoella’s (Zoe Sugg) battle with anxiety.
Zoe feels able to broadcast her message to youtube, yet suffers from so much anxiety that she feels unable to do certain things that many take for granted, such as going to London on the train.
There was an article in the Independent recently highlighting the effect of cyber bullying and trolling on Paris Jackson.
This is not an isolated incident, as many celebrities have had experiences of cyber bullying or being trolled.
Why does everything we do have to be perfect?
We have unrealistic expectations on what perfection is. We dream of undertaking a project or trying something new and expect to be great at it straight away. Expectations are founded with people’s achievements. However what has not been highlighted is the work that they put in to reach that level.’.
Our emotions are ever present in our lives. One moment we can be happy and the next, waves of sadness, anxiety or fear can come over us.
We are taught to run from our more difficult negative emotions (as discussed in the the blog on anger and rage). We are expected to be happy and content all the time but this is not realistic.
We all have flashes of anger and rage throughout the day. I could be that someone cuts you up while driving, your boss shouted at you at work or a partner didn’t do the washing up.
You may think anger and rage are the same emotion but actually quite different.
What is the difference?
Everyone’s happiness is individual, and nothing should be more important than your own happiness.
What will make you happy? Some say, ‘money.’
‘If I were rich I would be happy and all my problems would be gone.’
We are taught to run from our anxious feelings so that we can remain safe and comfortable.
But at what detriment?
In life we are expected to be great all of the time. There is no room for unexpected feelings to get in the way. The famous phrase ‘Keep calm & carry on’ exemplifies that fact. Just keep pushing through until everything is ‘fine’. What cost is there however, to not talking through our problems?
It was interesting to see this month’s GQ (Gentlemen’s Quarterly) leading with an article (Real Men Do Do Therapy) on psychotherapy, Therapy and counselling for men by Loise Chunn the founder of Welldoing.org
The British ‘stiff upper lip’ has seen men choosing not to come to therapy, instead of feeling obliged to deal with any issues themselves which usually involves keeping it locked in their head and using addictions, legal and illegal drugs (to name a few) to ease their emotional pain.
In recent times, ‘trolling’ has become a part of the digital world. Becoming a part of many of our virtual identities.
These are actions that many of us wouldn’t even think of being a part of in the physical world. Yet seem normal in our virtual world and become part of our social identity.
A recent article in the Evening Standard by Benjamin Cohen highlights the trend of Trolls. In the article, the author discussed how many send sexually explicit pictures of themselves to strangers on social media.