How often do you feel like there is something wrong but are not sure what?
Do you need something to quell that emotional tension and to know what the next steps are to being happy?
Over the last couple of weeks, I have been discussing how to get your thoughts and feelings on the same page so that you know what you want and will be happy when you get it.
Last week focused on the point of view of someone that thinks before they feel.
This week I want to discuss it from a different point of view; someone that feels and connects that feeling to a thought.
Your feelings are there to tell you about how you connect to any given situation. That is why when you are at work you feel bored, or on a rollercoaster you feel excited and scared, or with a partner you feel love and affection. Therefore when you are doing something that makes you feel happy you keep doing it. Again similarly, when something happens that makes you feel sad you stop doing it or work out a way to get away from it.
Society tells you to only listen to the happy feelings and bury feelings of sadness, anxiety and anger deep inside you. So when you feel something that isn’t happiness, you feel confused as to what this feeling is, or means. That confusion brings about frustration and again you bury that frustration deep down, hoping it disappears and happiness resumes in your life.
A part of you probably thinks you have always lived with running from these ‘bad’ feelings, so why address them?
My answer is that if you never deal with these feelings, they will continue to pop up at the most inconvenient time and stop you enjoying not only the good times, but your life in general.
It is imperative that you can work out what your feelings mean to you so you can understand what they are trying to tell you and act on that message.
How to understand your feelings
How do you begin to understand what your feelings are trying to tell you? Feelings don’t have thoughts attached to them. They are a felt sense that we carry with us. We have learnt to understand the ‘good feelings’ but not the bad. Therefore we might not have the words to describe every feeling that we feel. Essentially, you have not learnt the emotional language to understand what that feeling is trying to tell you.
How to know what that feeling is
What you need to do is bring your feelings into your thoughts. The best way to do this is to draw, write or express it in any way you feel comfortable. By doing this we are shifting our feelings to an emotional thought. By putting it on paper you can see it in front of you and understand it rather than it being caught up in yourself with no way to see or express it.
Use colours, texture, pictures and use them as a reflection of your feelings. How do they look? Big, small? Which colours have you used? What have you drawn or written?
By keeping thoughts and feelings on the same page it will help you to know what both sides want, so that you can act in a way that brings about complete happiness rather than just thinking you should be happy, or, not feeling happy and not knowing why.