Happy New Year! I’m sure many of you have been dragging yourselves through 2020, making your resolutions and just begging for the finish line shouting “Bring on 2021!?”
Now, I don’t mean to be the bearer of bad news, but I’m sure you’ve already realised that life doesn’t reset at 12.01am.
We are still living through an unfortunate pandemic, many are still angry, frustrated, skeptical and we are all still learning, developing and we have to keep working towards a better life.
I have spoken about making the most out of lockdown over and over again and yes, you should still be doing that.
Let’s remember that to make a change for the better, yes you can make new year’s resolutions, but making a resolution isn’t an easy fix.
What I want to do however is help you out but taking the most popular resolutions and fixing them for you, so they are more realistic and more obtainable.
I want to lose weight.
This is such a popular desire but it seems far simpler than it is. You believe that you will just work out more or start a diet, but it isn’t just about that.
What you must do is create a new relationship to food and to your lifestyle. If you have a huge sweet tooth, then you can’t expect yourself to cut out carbs, for instance. Or if you have a busy job that requires you at your desk all day, then how are you going to fit in exercise that won’t interfere with your downtime?
There are all really important questions that you need to ask yourself in order to make your resolution a success.
So, change your resolution instead to: “I am going to find the right exercise for me”, or, “I am going to find food replacements to sugar that I enjoy“.
I am going to start saving money.
Again, what does this mean for your lifestyle? For this goal, you have to make sure that you are not depriving yourself in other aspects of your life.
It is pretty unrealistic to say you are going to stop ordering takeaways to save money, for example, because you are then probably going to exhaust yourself by cooking every night and not getting the rest that you deserve.
Instead of cutting it out cold turkey, what do you feel you are spending excessive money on and how much could you cut that down to? Realistically!
Remember to still give yourself those enjoyments in life, but reframe them as either something that could do with being minimised or gradually cut out if it is harmful or destructive to your life.
Change this resolution to something like: “I am going to start a plan to stop smoking” or “I am going to order takeaways on the weekend only“
I want to meet someone.
Most of you out there will want to meet someone, have a partner and be part of a lifelong team. This is a natural instinct for many of us.
A pro is that this time in our lives means everyone is accessible even from the confines of your home and you can still meet someone if you’re willing to try virtual dating or just getting to know people online.
A con being that unfortunately, a meet cute is usually out of your control, and you cannot plan to meet the love of your life. It just happens.
What can happen with this resolution is that you either create unrealistic expectations for your partner, or you go through several rushed and unsuccessful relationships when you could have been more selective.
Creating the goal of meeting someone is almost like trying to control fate, so really make the decision of what you want and what your end goal is.
This could be either: “I am going to reach out more on dating sites” or even decide for yourself that you would rather wait to meet someone in real life, so it can wait. Either is a far more realistic goal for 2021.
Make your resolution a form of motivation rather than an unrealistic expectation for yourself.
Take a look at my video on the most popular new year resolutions and I will be fixing the next two resolutions in next week’s blog.