How do you feel when someone tells you that you’re doing something wrong? Even if it’s something you feel that you are pretty good at, even if it goes against your knowledge and point of view.
I was at the gym recently and someone ‘corrected’ my technique. At the moment I thought to myself ‘Yes I should be doing it his way, he must be correct. I am doing it wrong and maybe I should follow his guidance.’
In that moment my opinion and my own voice had gone, his point of view had trumped my own.
I then reflected and thought, ‘I should not do it that way as I know that this information is his point of view, not fact and is not correct.’
Where’s my voice?
We listen to other opinions and we take them on as the correct way of acting and being in the world, but at what consequence? Unless we are asking for others help we have the answer that we want, we know how to get there yet we feel everyone has more knowledge and experience than us.
Why we listen to the point of view of others
Thinking back to childhood, we form our own opinion based on our parents and they have a big part in our identity.
We may rebel as we grow older but that sense that others point of view or information right still lives within us.
It stands to reason that what other people think and feel gets internalised by us and our opinion gets lost.
How to hear your voice
We can still ask people for help and advice but let’s try not to let other opinions dominate our world view.
Notice when your voice is being drowned out and if it is, do you agree with what you are hearing? If not, recognise and accept your own point of view. Your truth is as valuable as others, even more so in your life as it is your opinion.
What happens if I can’t hear my voice?
This is a question that I hear within many therapy sessions and my answer is always the same. You need a firm understanding of your identity, who you are, what you like and dislike, your good and bad points so that you can start to hear YOU.
The way you choose to live your life will make you happy because it’s your life and no one else’s.
You are the expert in what will make you happy, your happiness is subjective and unique to you.
Know and accept yourself and believe your own point of view.
Philip
