Establishing emotional safety is an important step in order to start reforming the way you relate to the world. When I say the world I mean the everyday situations you find yourself in.
The first step is to create emotional safety. This is space away from your emotions so that when something comes up which would usually evoke feelings of fear, anxiety or depression, you don’t need to act on them.
With space away from the instinctive emotion you can start evaluating and reforming the way you relate to those situations.
It can be anything spiders, work, going to sleep – anything that causes you to feel anxiety or boredom from doing it.
Once you establish the issue and the feeling associated with it, your mind will automatically try and run from it yet stick with it – what do you feel?
One technique I use with clients is to draw it out. This allows you to express the emotions that you find hard to live with -seeing it as a part but not your entire identity.
Now you can see that image or emotion and are starting to get to grips with living with it, the next step is to control the impact it is having on your life.
We do this by learning that we have control over our thoughts and emotions.
Think of a good time, either a picture, an image, a feeling from the past or what you are working towards for the future.
Do you feel warmth inside your heart? The memory is evoking a happy, good time in your life -just like the dangerous emotion has gone and in its place a happy, safe emotion is there instead.
Can you see how easy it is to distance yourself from that dangerous emotional state?
You have the power to control the way you feel at the moment.
You don’t have to remain feeling that emotionally fragile state if you don’t want to.
At the same time, however, you need to discover why you feel the way you do so that you can understand what your emotions are trying to show you. Maybe it’s a change in your life, starting a new project or stopping an old habit.
Many live not knowing that emotions are trying to help. Rather than distancing yourself from your emotions, listen to them to uncover what’s wrong. And with that, so to do you have control over them. Step into that emotional, fragile state to understand what you need to do and then continue your life without them bothering you any longer.