feel better Therapy in London


Your unconscious is made up of thoughts and feelings established throughout your life. This helps you to negotiate the world and dictate how you think, feel and act day to day.?

Sometimes, however, these thoughts and feelings have been established for so long that they become outdated. They may have helped you growing up but now they may be holding you back from reaching your full potential and feeling fulfilled.

Here are the 5 steps to help start changing the way you relate to your unconscious thoughts and feelings.

  1. Know Yourself

The first step is to uncover what it is that your unconscious thoughts and feelings are trying to tell you.

What is it that you want, what are scared of, What would failure look and feel like, What’s stopping you from trying, What’s the worst that could happen?

Build a picture as to why you can and can’t do whatever it is that you want to.

  1. Recognise your internal voice

What thoughts come to mind at this very moment? Are your thoughts telling you that you are rubbish? That this is a stupid exercise and that it won’t work?
That is the Critical Inner Voice trying to keep you safe. This voice was established from your youth and is trying to save you from falling and getting hurt both physically and emotionally.

I would argue however that failure is a necessary step in order to get good and be the best at anything. This about musicians, sports stars. In fact, anyone that is good at their craft. They had to learn how to play that instrument or score a goal. They had to fail a couple of times and be taught in order to learn the right and wrong way.

Your internal voice’s perceived need for safety is holding you back from trying anything new and learning from your mistakes.

Now that you have a picture of what you want and what is stopping you, the next step is to make it real so that you know what it is you want to achieve.

  1. Make a plan

Once you know what you want and have gone some way to dismiss your critical inner voice, let’s start to draw out a map or a plan so that you know what you want and how you are going to get there. Keep in mind that you will still have these automatic thoughts telling you this is silly and it won’t work. Let’s keep pushing and trying to finish the plan so you have it down on paper for you to see. Here is an example of the first few steps you could take:

  1. Get prepared – Have a paper and pen; whatever it is you need to help you plan
  2. Schedule – Which days will you be doing each activity? How long will it take? When will you have time to work on it.
  3. Research – Find out how much it costs to buy materials or rent a space to work in

When you have written something down take a look at it and ask yourself ‘Does it look that scary?’

  1. Test Yourself

Think about something that you have been avoiding or procrastinating. Think about it and recognise what those thoughts and feelings have been telling you. With those in mind, try and do that task and see how you feel. See what comes up and notice how these thoughts have been deterring and hampering you. 

  1. Keep At It

It is going to be hard. You are trying something new and it’s never easy because if it was everyone would do it. The more you try, the easier it will get and not only that but as you start to get good at it so too will you start to enjoy doing that task. This, in turn, will diminish those fears and anxieties so that they aren’t burdening other areas of your life.


These steps will allow you to not only accomplish this task but can be used to accomplish other goals or ambitions that you have been putting off. You can start to overcome the fear and anxiety associated with starting something new. This. in turn, will lead to you having more choices, feeling prepared and happier throughout your life.

For a more in-depth look at how your unconscious works, have a look at my youtube videos.

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