Therapist reaction: Tick Tick Boom –’Therapy’

I’d heard so much about the song Therapy from the Netflix film Tick Tick Boom.

I had been told so many times to watch it and offer my opinion. I still haven’t gotten round to seeing the entire film but I did react to Therapy and I wasn’t disappointed.

To be honest, the song was very accurate. You can tell Jonathan Larson was writing about an experience and feelings he knew very well.

Relationships are hard. They are messy and complex.

So to lay out what it is like being in a long-term relationship in a 3-minute song will usually cover what is the tip of the iceberg.

But, this song really does cover a lot:

They are basically saying the same thing.

From the start of the song, they are repeating themselves over and over again. Just because you have repeated yourself that doesn’t mean you were heard. It’s always good to confirm that your partner has understood you, rather than saying the same thing again and assuming they will eventually get it. When emotions are high it can be difficult to express yourself clearly.

They are constantly talking over each other.

This is a huge thing for couples during those full blown arguments. When things get heated, you stop caring about the other person’s point and just need to let your own frustration out there and then. This means that even though you are right in front of your partner, you are only hearing your own side. And it doesn’t even matter what the other person is saying.

They are not listening to each other.

When you are talking and yelling in the hope that your point is heard, you are also not listening. As this couple gets more and more heated, they are talking faster. They’re again, repeating what they are saying but not even responding to what the other has said.

The song is complex. Consider how much rehearsal, trial and error is needed to be able to pull this song off. A relationship is just as hard when you aren’t listening to each other. It highlights how much easier communication is when you allow it to breathe. Both must listen to what the other has to say and take it into account with your response.

They are being passive aggressive.

Those smiles on their faces adds a dollop of passive aggression to what they are saying. This is never taken the right way. It means that what you are saying is indirect. Sometimes it can be done with fear of how the other person will take it, or to directly insult, patronise or hurt the other.

Either way, being passive aggresive is says what you want to say but without taking the time to fully form how you want to say it.

They are trying to draw a line under their feelings.

Rather than coming to a resolution about their feelings, seemingly their way of drawing a line in their arguments is to have sex. But this time it was too late so they went to bed.

It’s common advice to never go to bed on an argument, which is exactly what they are doing. And even in other situations where they would of just had sex to end the fight, you are still not coming to a resolution on your grievences. A healthy sexual relationship is healthy, however it’s important to understand whether you are using sex to either escape a situation or draw a line under something.

They are in therapy but not using therapy.

The language used throughout this song is a lot of what is advised in therapy – which is I feel or I think rather than accusations like You said or You did. So they are attempting to communicate, but are not using it as it is intended.

I feel doesn’t have the same affect if you are not willing to listen to the others’ feelings. And I think doesn’t have the same affect if intended to hurt or make the other feel insignificant.

If this song was this impactful out of context, then I’m really looking forward to watching the rest of Tick Tick Boom.

If you found this interesting, I watched and reacted to this same scene in Tick Tick Boom over on my Youtube Channel.

Therapy in London

It’s Pride month | So be Proud of who you are 🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍⚧️

Pride is an exciting time. It highlights the enormous journey the LGBTQIA community has taken, and how far the rest of the world still has to go.

Taking Pride in yourself is something that is tough for many to do. Let alone when you are faced with relentless boundaries and challenges.

This is why self-exploration is about what you are proud of and what you want for yourself.

Pride should not only give a feeling of satisfaction, but also motivate and inspire you for what you want next.

Pride comes from your belief in yourself and an understanding of what you want.

It is feeling pride, which has gotten the LGBTQ community to speak out regardless of what others say or think. That takes bravery, perseverance and ambition to do what you believe it right and the best thing for yourself and for your community.

We can learn so much from what is being marched for this month and sets an example of what can be achieved.

Having pride is a powerful resource to have but it comes from working on yourself and believing in what you can achieve.

If you want to feel this in yourself, you can start by answering some simple questions:

  1. Answer for yourself, what do you see for yourself?
  2. What is standing in your way?
  3. What do you need to do to tackle those obstacles
  4. Action it today.

Each step is a challenge on its own, but even just wanting to feel pride in yourself is a great first step

This month is the ideal time to look to everyone marching for their community and to find in yourself the same will and perseverance to succeed.

Happy Pride Month.

Therapy in London.

Depp vs Heard | Understanding Domestic violence

The Trial. What does Depp vs Heard mean for domestic violence?

Firstly it isn’t my place to say who did what and who is in the wrong. Johnny Depp and Amber Heard have gone through a long batter which I believe is still far from over. What I want to join in on is the conversation surrounding domestic violence.

What I do see, however, is the spotlight shone on a situation that is just the tip of the iceberg.

Both victims and abusers in relationships have a deep, long-term struggle that requires a commitment to reworking.

Did we really learn anything about the struggle of domestic abuse?

Yes and No. Domestic abuse has such a huge impact on anyone’s life. It has severe implications on how one acts, thinks, and lives in the world. Any form of trauma creates a shift in what you perceive to be a danger and creates many long-term implications including Anxiety, Depression, PTSD, and many more.

What this trial has done is put them under the microscope to see any trace of trauma in either of them.

Now we got to see so much of before, during, and after their relationship. We heard witnesses, testimonies, and expert analysis. We even had to hear one of Johnny Depp’s therapists read his notes from their sessions (which was particularly hard for me to see).

Even after all this, we are still looking for an expression, a twitch or any tell to giveaway how much we can trust them.

So even with everything presented to the jury, and to us, you still cannot help but look for that red flag or signs of victimisation. And everyone was still looking for these tells because we are desperate to find one, but this isn’t the case. All victims and all abusers have their own journey and cannot be pinpointed or labelled.

What can we take from such a high-profile case?

That only they both know what is truly going on in their heads and how they recount their relationship. When it comes to any other unfortunate instances of domestic abuse, recovery is paramount in taking back control of your life.

Domestic abuse victims have the right to fight for their truth, and offenders must accept that they have something they must rework and change in themselves.

Therapy in London.

We can learn a lot from Bluey.

Is Bluey the ideal show to teach life lessons to parents, as well as children?

If you are a parent then you no doubt have sat through many many episodes of Bluey. If you haven’t seen it, Bluey is an Australian children’s show that follows the life of Bluey, Bingo, and their parents – in a world where everyone is a dog.

Even though this sounds like any normal children’s cartoon. It has won the hearts of not just children around the world, but also parents.

Continue reading We can learn a lot from Bluey.

Bearing the Mental Load | How do you rework a woman’s work?

When I began my maternity leave, I created that instinctual bubble around myself and my new family. This was where I got to grips with being a mother. I was learning my child’s own language and having to instinctually understand their needs.

Continue reading Bearing the Mental Load | How do you rework a woman’s work?
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