I got a question on my YouTube channel asking why they find it different to tell the truth.
So, I want to share my 5 steps to help you stop lying.
In order to break the cycle of lying, you first need to find your triggers.
When Do You Lie?
Step 1 and 2 is to notice when you lie and who you lie to.
Is it with friends? Colleagues?
And is it mainly at school or at home and work?
Why DO You Lie?
This leads to step 3:
Work out why you lie in those situations.
Do you lie because you want to be seen in a certain way, as good, intelligent or as interesting as others?
What these 3 steps are doing is breaking down your current identity that comes from lying.
How To Stop Lying
Now that you understand when, why and how you lie, the next steps are to stop this repetitive behaviour.
Step 4, is to recognise the feeling associated with being in that situation and with those people. Do you feel anxious, tense or stressed?
The purpose of lying is to diffuse the tension in your life. Once you understand your motive for lying you can start to notice how you feel in those situations and change that behaviour.
And this is what step 5 is going to help you to do.
Change Your Automatic Response.
This is to test out a different response in situations where you would normally lie.
When you feel those difficult or hard emotions, take a breath and tell the truth.
It might seem scary or daunting as you are so used to telling people what they want to hear rather than the truth, but it will mean that you won’t have to work so hard making up stories – and remember whom you told which stories too! You can just be yourself.
In the short term, lying can be the answer to all of your issues.
It helps you to diffuse tension, feel good and look good to others. However, in the long term, it leads you to feel pressured as you have to tell lie after lie to make sure that you don’t get found out.
It might take some time but understanding yourself more will help you to notice why you are lying, so you can start noticing your lying behaviour and stop it.
This helping you to live a less stressful, more fulfilled and more truthful life.