Everyone lies or has lied one way or another. It is one thing to lie to protect yourself or for the well-being of others. It is another to rely on your lies, to have them defy you, or to use them as a cover.
There is one common reason why you lie consistently.
It is because lying can create a limitless reality for yourself but with none of the actual effort.
This isn’t a habit that should be eradicated completely, but it’s good to know at least where the line is when it comes to white lies versus harmful lies.
When you lie, you are adding something to your reality that doesn’t actually exist. There is lying you are 5 minutes away, or there is lying about things you have achieved, fake anecdotes, or things you are going to accomplish.
I wanted to bring this up again as it seems to be a constant topic of conversation.
So, let’s get down to the basic reason why most people lie and how to stop it.
Lying is a tricky habit to unravel. Once you have started, one lie has to be topped with another and another to cover yourself. Before you know it, you can feel consumed with a fear of being found out.
Being ‘found out’ doesn’t have to mean allowing it to define you as a dishonest person. It does though, mean having to face the reality that your lies have attempted to hide. This is where you must find confidence in yourself and who you really are, rather than simply attempting to ‘stop lying’.
There is also a difference between lying and imposter syndrome
Have you heard the phrase ‘fake it til you make it’. This harps true for a lot of situations, but there is a difference between lying and playing out the version of you you have always wanted to be.
Exuding confidence is a great way of learning to believe in yourself and have others see you for how you see yourself.
Being dishonest is hiding from something or hiding from something that you should be addressing.
So, reflect back on what you believe to be a lie and ask yourself:
‘ Is this building on my confidence and creating positive change, or am I hiding something from others and from my true self? ‘
Pick out the situations you lie in.
Do you lie when you want to impress someone? Or when you feel like you don’t have anything interesting to say about your real life?
Whatever the scenario, pick it out, and find your pattern (there is always a pattern).
What would you have said in hindsight?
Thinking back to those situations where you lied, if you could redo it, what could you have said that was honest? And how would it have affected that situation? Bear in mind that you honestly do not need to hurt anyone if it doesn’t need to. But consider how that conversation would have gone without lying.
The next situation you are in, try it out.
Now that you have considered what you would have said if you were honest, take that version of yourself and act on it. The honest version of you exists and the more you act on it and live and your true self, the most people will see that and love that version.