jealous - Therapy in London

Use Jealousy

Jealousy is an emotion that can stop you in your tracks. 

It keeps you entwined in horrible thoughts about how unfair life is and how much you hate others just for having something you might not have.

Life not going your way might not be entirely your fault, but rather than focusing on the jealousy, use that feeling as motivation to achieve greatness.


First, accept that you will feel jealous sometimes.

There are countless studies showing that jealousy is something that is built within us from birth. It’s a part of being human, so don’t beat yourself up for feeling jealous. But, at the same time don’t allow it to define you.

What are you jealous of?

Next, when you feel jealous notice what it is you are jealous of.

Is it something someone has done? The way they look or what they have achieved?

The reason you feel jealous is that it gives you an element of control. It offers a flimsy reason for why you have not achieved what others have.

With this frame of mind, all you are doing is stopping yourself from using your emotional energy for what it’s there for – motivating you to try new things, create, achieve and be happy.

Learn from jealousy

Lastly, rather than feeling that horrible jealousy, think about what it is that you could learn from others success.

For example, if your friend looks great, instead of sitting at home feeling jealous, you could go to the gym. If a friend gets the job of their dreams, think about what you need to do to get your dream job.

At this point two things will happen, either, you will pick the easier path which is to think that this is all a waste of time and go back to being consumed by jealousy.

Or, you will pick the slightly harder choice which is to acknowledge jealousy as a motivator.

Feeling jealous is the easy way out – so, stay strong and keep using jealousy to motivate you to better your life rather than limit you.

Therapy in London