What Love Is Blind tells us about modern attitudes towards therapy

If I had a pound for every time therapy was mentioned on the latest season of Love Is Blind, I’d have enough money to cover the cost of my next session. Therapy became a hot topic among contestants in season six, a stark departure from its taboo status in the past. Having previously been taboo for so many years, therapy and discussions around mental health now seem to be commonplace when it comes to modern approaches to relationships

But what does Love Is Blind teach us about therapy today? Let’s examine two key couples to find out. Spoilers ahead!

AD and Clay – the curse of the ‘fixer’ mentality

The journey of Clay and AD was tumultuous from the get-go. The sole purpose of Love Is Blind is to fall in love and propose to somebody sight unseen. However, Clay outright asks AD what she looks like, stating “If I’mma propose, that’s something that I need to know.” 

Clay apparently failed to grasp the entire concept of the show. What’s more, once he did get engaged to AD, he ended up treating her as a ‘fixer’ rather than a fiancé. Clay openly admitted relatively early on to never having been to therapy. This by no means makes him a bad person. But, what emerged as concerning as the season progressed was how his love and appreciation of AD solely existed based on how she helped him grow as a person, rather than anything to do with her character. 

There’s no doubt that different relationships can help you learn new things about yourself, your character, and your triggers. But as AD rightly stated in response, “I feel kind of like a sacrifice… you learned so much about yourself and used me to, like, do it.” 

Unfortunately, AD isn’t off the hook either. Clay’s behaviour emerged as concerning to her very early on. But, rather than asking him questions to get to the bottom of certain issues, she said she was willing to go along with the relationship. She even described herself as a “fix-a-ho”.

How can we relate to AD and Clay?

The relationship dynamic between AD and Clay is one that’s all too familiar to many of us. One partner has issues that they have not yet acknowledged or worked on. While the other recognises those issues and thinks they can fix them on their partner’s behalf. 

Clay seemed to show some awareness of the things he needed to work through. Particularly the infidelity of his father and shallow attitudes towards dating. It’s just a shame that he used AD to do so, rather than seeking the right help beforehand. 

What can we learn from a couple like Chelsea and Jimmy? 

If you watched the relationship between Chelsea and Jimmy unfold, you’d have experienced the same levels of stress and discomfort as I did. They ended up constantly fighting with one another. And furthermore, they didn’t manage to make it to the altar. 

Several recurring themes emerged during the arguments between Jimmy and Chelsea. These included neediness and relationship anxiety. Chelsea in particular has had a rough time of it since Love Is Blind aired, being on the receiving end of plenty of online hate, critique, and even death threats. Almost every post online about Chelsea’s behaviour on the show features the same comment from multiple people “She needs therapy!”.

Is therapy the answer?

It’s all too easy when it comes to reality TV for us, the viewers, to point out the issues of those on screen. Plenty of people online have criticised Chelsea for being insecure as if becoming a confident and self-assured person is an overnight fix. 

Prior to her time on the show, Chelsea also admitted to never having been to therapy, “I never really sat with my inner demons or issues that I’ve had or relationship issues.” But, as a result of her intense arguments with her now ex-fiancé, Jimmy, Chelsea has since decided to seek therapy, stating that she’s now in “the best spot I’ve ever been in my entire life.” 

Again, not going to therapy doesn’t mean you’re a bad person destined to have bad relationships, but seeking support for your mental health can be invaluable when it comes to understanding both you and your partner.

If you’d like to get started on your therapy journey, reach out to us for a free telephone consultation.  

Our responsibility as viewers

The couples discussed in this article opened up some fascinating dialogues around therapy. It’s exciting that these topics are becoming an increasing part of mainstream culture and that young people are having open discussions about their mental health. 

But, what we see portrayed on reality TV is only a small fraction of what took place between the couples. It’s important that we, the viewers, also watch shows like these responsibly, and refrain from contributing to harmful online discussions about the contestants. It’s worth remembering that we’re all works in progress, even if we choose to go on TV. 

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