In this week’s blog, I want to help you understand why you get angry; share my five steps to understand anger’s message and use it to your advantage.
Step 1, see anger as a positive feeling.
Everyone is trained to avoid anger. You have been told that it is a bad thing and that you need to forget about being angry, just let it go and be happy.
When really, anger can have a positive impact on your life if you learn to accept it and listen to its message.
Step 2 Create emotional space.
Even if the thought of feeling angry might be overwhelming, you need to learn how to listen to and understand the messages coming from the anger.
Step 3 Understand anger’s message
Next, rather than pushing the angry feeling down or being uncontrollably angry with others, use the emotional space to understand anger’s message.
Think OK, I feel angry, what’s happening to make me feel this way? Then, how can I change what’s going on to stop feeling the way?
Step 4 Action anger’s message.
For example, if your friend has upset you tell them.
At this point, you are probably thinking that’s easier said than done.
If, however, you do nothing at all, you will continue feeling angry repetitively.
You need to fix the problem so that it doesn’t happen again.
Step 5 learn how to offset your anger.
Sometimes the moment will pass and you won’t be able to tell that person that you are angry with them, or sometimes life won’t go your way making you feel angry and upset.
Rather than forgetting about your angry feelings, find an outlet to use your anger in a productive way.
Some people go to the gym, some people paint or write in a journal.
Find something you enjoy and use anger as a positive step towards growth and change.
Rather than trying to distance yourself from the anger, start listening to its message to better your life.
