If you are sitting at home after working from home this past year. I’m sure you’re wondering why you are noticing new ticks and traits in your partner that you never noticed before, then you are not alone.
You and your partner have been working from home and increasingly butting heads.
You both eventually decide that one of you would use the dining table, the other uses the bedroom.
You see each other for watercooler talk more than you ever thought you would. You’ve even thought from time to time ‘How do people work with this person?’
Or even worse. One of you has been thriving at working from home during the pandemic. The other has sadly been furloughed or redundant and is struggling to:
A. Find the motivation they once had.
B. Find happiness and gratitude for your partner for getting through this so well.
Either scenario is a valid one and this pandemic has hit everyone hard in the relationship department.
I want to put it out there that resenting your partner during these crazy times is always valid. These are unique circumstances we find ourselves in after all.
You may have made a commitment to love them for all they are, but the crux of it is: We were never meant to spend this much time with our partners.
We look for different types of partnerships and relationships in our lives. This means we’re looking for different attributes to complement different situations.
A romantic relationship
A loving relationship builds itself on being your true self and that includes love, understanding, and balance.
This is a contrast from:
A working relationship.
Built on ambition, ruthlessness, drive and focus.
Sometimes, these two personas work and meld. However, by spending more time with your romantic partner – as much as you would with your work partner – you take notice of things that would be a disturbance in any professional relationship.
For instance, talking about your plans, successes, and issues at the end of a long hard day can feel rewarding, comforting, and a great way to secure your bond with your partner.
If a colleague was doing this in the office constantly, it would be seen as a disturbance.
With you and your partner at home, this is happening more often than not and you’re seeing them as more of a ‘distracting colleague’.
Let’s instead start rebuilding what there was and can be.
You may feel like this is a difficult time for both of you and worrying that you are even seeing these new attributes – but this is completely normal and it’s happening to everyone.
What we need to do instead is take into account the partner you saw before lockdown and before working from home. How can you reach that point again? And how can you use it to strengthen your relationship?
Importantly, what has changed since then, and rather than try to ignore it, address those issues and work through them.
Remember that the love that was there is still there today, you’re just learning a whole lot more about them and that just means further to grow as a couple.