The premise of marriage is to commit to another person ‘till death do us part‘. When you make that decision, it is usually an easy one as you have found that one person you believe that you can commit to.
What is difficult to grasp for many during marriage is that commitment includes a parallel growth with that partner.
This means that when you do commit to your one-and-only, you are committing to who they were then, who you are now and who you will both become.
Everyone must adapt, change and develop as a person independently and within a relationship. This includes:
- Likes and dislikes
- Friends and colleagues
Within a marriage your changes must always complement one another, otherwise, you can find it difficult to have the connection you once had.
What marriage counselling can help you with.
Making the decision to begin marriage counselling doesn’t have to mean that your rift is near the point of no return. When you drift with your partner, you can start to resist confrontation which means that resentments and hangups build up and become a larger issue than they once were.
Because marriage gives a more palpable and legal term to your relationship, it can feel like the easiest way to save your marriage is to hold back most of what you want to say.
But confrontation doesn’t have to mean there is breakdown in your relationship.
Unfortunately, this avoidance happens when communication goes out the window and distance grows. This can lead to:
- Not being able to talk to each other without it starting an argument
- Doing more activities separately than together: Such as dinner, going out and sleeping.
- Lying regularly
- Less or no sex
- Affecting your family dynamic and connection with your children.
In the circumstances where your partner is physically or mentally abusive towards you or your family, contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline right away for support.
All marriages must open up a line of communication from as early as possible, and this can be difficult when you have gotten used to withholding for so long. This is where the neutral space within a counselling office has the largest benefit.
Counselling encourages you to talk to your partner and (importantly) listen to what they have to say too.
Mental health professionals are able to be a non-judgment figure within your marriage who encourage you to answer and even ask open-ended questions to each other. These discussions result in you being able to understand your partner’s feelings and for you to convey your own without any false accusations, assumptions or personal attacks.
Your counsellor will always remain unbiased and this offers a very beneficial neutral space for you to not just learn about your partner, but also who you are and how you are seen too.
How Therapy in London can help.
Our practitioners have the ability of being a strong presence in your marriage but also making your partnership as close as it has ever been.
We want to ensure that you know exactly who your partner is, what they want and how you can both grow together. This comes from your counsellor offering a safe, relaxed and trusting space for you and your partner, and this is what we offer to marriages in need of a new outlook on their relationship.