The short answer to this question is: Yes, it is possible to stop acting childish. Our brains are neuroplastic, which means that we can build new pathways, change and learn through experiencing. The therapeutic relationship can support you in this behavioural change.
To answer the question more detailed I first want to define what childish behaviour is. I think it is important to distinguish childish from childlike.
A sense of wonder at the world, curiosity and playfulness are all attitudes and qualities that can enrich an adult’s life.
However, childish behaviour in adults is counterproductive, seen as immature and inappropriate.
When you, as an adult, behave like a child, for example:
- Throwing tantrums
- Sulking
- Not taking responsibility
- Blaming others
- Avoiding commitment
- Lying
- Bullying
As a person-centred counsellor, I believe that childish behaviours are a reaction to unmet emotional needs or unresolved experiences from childhood. They are expressions of underlying emotions that may need attention.
They are coping mechanisms formed to navigate and survive challenges, or might be a search for attention, safety and love. These strategies do not serve us anymore as an adult. For example someone who becomes frustrated and lashes out may be expressing an unmet need for validation or a fear of rejection.
So, how can we change?
How can we build these new pathways in our brains? My own therapy approach is based on the belief that everybody has the capacity to develop, grow and change, if they are in the right conditions.
Therapy is a safe place where you can experience empathy, a warm prizing of you as a person, and transparency.
You can explore your emotions, behaviours, experiences without fear of judgement. When you experience being valued and supported, you will become aware and develop an understanding of where you are coming from, of what has happened to you to bring you to this moment in time.
With this understanding and empathy for yourself, you will start to build new pathways in your neuroplastic brain and reach out to the part of you that behaves childish.
In the safe environment of therapy you can begin to identify the causes of your behaviours and develop healthier ways of meeting your needs. It is not about suppressing emotions or fixing childish behaviours. It is about understanding their origins and finding ways to move forward and make changes in your behaviour. For example, instead of lashing out a client might learn to articulate feelings, hurt or disappointment more openly. With therapy you can develop self-awareness and self-compassion.
I think it is not simply a question of stopping childish behaviour.
Therapy is more a journey of acceptance and change. Self-awareness is deepened and the courage to embrace vulnerability is supported. It is an opportunity for personal growth, developing self-acceptance, self-esteem and moving towards a more mature and fulfilling way of being.