I’m a therapist, which means I spend my day helping people navigate their "on" time.
But as a human who has frequently looked at the clock and realised with horror that it’s 3am, I’ve realised the problem isn't usually sleeping, it’s the transition.
Here is my singular piece of advice:
| Stop starting your "bedtime routine" at bedtime.
The Midnight Friction Trap
Most people treat 11pm like a finish line. You close the laptop, put down the phone, and decide it’s time for sleep. But then reality hits. You’re still in your work clothes. You haven't washed your face. You have a ten-step skincare regime that feels like a marathon.
By the time you’ve scrubbed the day off, hunted for clean pyjamas, and finally crawled under the covers, your "quick transition" has taken ninety minutes. Now your brain is stimulated, your face is cold from splashing water, and you’re wide awake. Congratulations: it’s 1am, and you’re now scrolling to "wind down."
I’ve been there. I’ve lived the accidental 3am because the effort of getting ready felt like too much work for a tired brain.
Front-Load the Boring Stuff
The tip I swear by is simple: Do the chores of sleep the moment you walk through the door.
Don’t wait until you’re exhausted to start the process. The second you get home, or the second you "log off" from your last bit of work, shed the work uniform. Put on the soft clothes. Do that lengthy skincare routine while you’re still energised from dinner. Brush your teeth at 8pm.
By doing the "boring" parts of your routine early, you remove the friction. You are effectively clearing the runway. When 10:30pm rolls around, there is no "getting ready." You are already clean, you are already comfortable, and the barrier to entry for sleep is zero.
The Mental Shift
When you stay in your "outside" clothes and keep your "outside" face on, you’re telling your nervous system you’re still on call. By transitioning early, you signal to your brain that the day is done.
Stop treating your bedtime routine like a chore you do at midnight. Do it early, get it out of the way, and give yourself permission to just... fall into bed.
Your 2am self will thank you.